Divorce in Christianity Part 3 (Wife, family and fiends)

Reasons for divorce caused by the wife, her family and her friends

So no one accuses me that I am biased to the wife,  I thought of starting this series with the issue concerning the wife, her family and her friends and their role in destroying the marriage.

The Bible very clear on what is the command to the husband and the command to the wife. And because this article speaks about the wife we will talk about the commandments of the wife, which is unconditional commandments. The Bible says “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” {Eph5:22} this is unconditional commandment which means the Bible did not say submit to your husband if he loves you or he is genrios with you but the Bible said “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord   For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” {Eph 5:22-24}. I say the truth and God is my witness that if we obey the commandment as is, our life will be blessed for the word of God is true and alive at all times and every where. When the Bible say the wife submit to her husband, it means what it says. In my life and in my counseling I saw wonderful results and that is if we obey the commandment, our life will be blessed.

Submitting to your husband does not mean that you do not express your views, absolutely not. Express your views and discuss it with your husband but the final word is for your husband. Please read the Bible every day both of you so you will know what the Bible say in this issue.

The man is the head of the woman and if anyone disagree with me I say this is the Bible views.

To be able to fulfill the commandments easily and without a grumble, I advise the following:

1-you have to pray daily so the Holy Spirit guide you to make the right decision.

2-if you feel that your husband’s decision was not right, then pray that he will learn from his mistake, and you will learn from the blessing of submission.

3-sometimes, specially the Arabic husbands, he will be harsh in his decision and give no concern for his wife, then in this case go to the supreme court, to the high judge, to God. Do not go to one of your family member or one of your friends because they will be biased towards you no matter the circumstances. learn to go to the Heavenly Father because He knows all the heart intend and He is the One who justify the oppressed.

4-please let your pastor be aware of the problem. Once more I say to the pastor of the church do not be biased. We suffer from a problem in the church that is the weak person is normally oppressed. I do advise that we read the Bible so we know if that decision is according to the Bile or not. And when I say pastor I mean pastors of all denominations.

the wife see that she respects her husband

“…let the wife see that she respects her husband” {Eph 5:33}

It is very clear to any person that the husband must be respected and submitted to as the church respect and submit to our Lord Jesus. Nothing annoys the husband and aggravate him as much as the disrespect of his wife to him. That is why the words of our Lord advise the wife to submit to her husband without any condition, and also respect him. These are not my words but the words of the Bible.

Submission to the husband is a commandment of the Bible, it is wise that the person obey the commandment, because in obeying the word of God numerous blessing, and in disobeying the word of God more  curses. Please read the book of Deuteronomy chapter 28, you will find in this chapter the danger of disobeying the word of God. You will find that many disease come upon us because of our rebellious behavior against the word of God. This I say to each the husband and the wife, so the husband loves his wife and the wife submits to her husband.

Disobedience has its own risk

Disobedience to the husband has its own risk because by doing so you break one of the most important commandments which means that you disobey the Bible. If your husband accuses you before the heavenly thrown, Satan will fight you savagely. For example if you work in a job and your husband is not happy about this position, you find difficulty in this job. And if you befriend one and husband is displeased about this relationship, this will bring trouble you can do without.

Without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” {1Pe 3:1-2} This verse is very true, which I have seen large number of husband whose hearts were turned to our Lord Jesus through the good conduct of their wives. The word of the Lord is very true. And no need for the harsh word to the husband because the Bible commanded you to respect your husband.

The danger of nagging your husband

Some wives imagine that nagging their husband will bring positive results, but I can assure you that nagging will bring a negative results. I advise the wife to pray for wisdom to choose the right time and words before discussing any issues with her husband. If you want to speak about a subject that cause argument, please wait to the second day or even the day after. You will find yourself calmed down and you will not need to argue anymore, and the issue will be resolved.

Spiritual oblivion

Within the last nineteen years I have served hundreds of people. The way I served has always been clear and unchanged. That is “When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him” {Pr 16:7}. We suffer from many problems because our ways do not please our Lord. And The Lord allows trials so we can be awaken from the spiritual oblivion. But if our ways please the Lord, no man can come against us no matter his age, position, or his authority. No man can come against us as long as we honor the commandment of our loving Lord. Our Lord Jesus Christ has saved us so we may have spiritual enlightenment to understand what is happening around us and we can discern the ways of Lord from the ways of Satan.

The ways of Satan

“And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.”{2Co 11: 14-1  5}. We ought to pray fervent prayer so we can discern if the person advising us whether he is one of Satan’s servant or one of Jesus’ servant. I have heard of people think they are servant of Jesus but they are deceived big time. They think that they serve Jesus, but in fact they serve Satan. I advise everyone to pray that our Lord Jesus Christ enable us to discern between good and evil.

Beware of advise from family and friends

The advise from family and friends will take a biased stand towards the wife, and the problem will be escalated, and the wife will be convinced that her husband has been unfair to her. She will see him unjust person, but the truth could be contrary to that. The family sees their daughter always right, that will make the husband feels that he should alienate his wife from her family. Of course the wife will feel this is unfair, thus problems and contention will start. Wise families advise their daughters to submit to their husbands for this is the commandment of the Bible to the wives. I repeat once more this is unconditional commandment which must be obeyed as is.

Keep away from your husband

This story happened few years ago. A husband had a problem with his father in law who told his daughter it is either me or your husband. The husband tried to appease his father in law but without success. The wife chose to please her father over her husband. When the husband lost hope to go back to his wife, he got married with a wife from another denomination, and they had a child together. After few years later the father of the first wife died, leaving his daughter with her children. This wife needed to understand that her husband takes priority over her father. As she and her husband were one flesh, and no one should separate them, even her father or mother.

The husband is the most important person in his wife’s life, his place must be above all others, family and friends.

How to choose your friends

Husband and wife must both agree when choosing a friend. In marriage both husband and wife enter into a covenant where the two become one and they start a new life together.

When I got married, there were some friends my husband did not approve off, so I have to let go of their relationship. At that time my husband also had some friends whom I did not approve off, so my husband had to end that relationship.

Why should both husband and wife leave friends that one of them do not approve off? If one of them do not feel comfortable toward that friend, it will reflect on his or her behavior with the friend. The friend will then feel that bad attitude and will start to give one of the partners the wrong advise. That friend will also start to make harsh comments concerning the un-favored partner which will create a problem between the husband and his wife.

This story happened to me many years ago. One of my husband’s friend said to me one day, you are useless, you eat and do nothing. Of course I was very upset because she had no right to make such harsh comment concerning my life. I mentioned to my husband what she said to me, and he said to me we do not need to deal with this family friend anymore. This was not the only time this friend annoyed me, but she exceeded her limit many times over. That is why I advise to avoid such relationship.

Wife should be concern how to please her husband

The wife must pay attention to how to please her husband in the relationship and in the way she dresses up as long as it she does not displease our Lord Jesus Christ. At home she can dress up in any way. Please pay attention to your in order to please your husband so he may not fall into temptation consequently commit a sin with someone else.

Summary:

1. You must obey your husband, that is unconditional commandment.

2. It is very important to respect your husband, as disrespect is very humiliating to the husband.

3. Disobedience to the husband is dangerous because he can accuse you before the thrown of God.

4. The men can be won by the good conduct of their wives. This is a Biblical fact and fact of life.

5. The Lord allows trial in our lives so we may be awaken from our spiritual oblivion.

6. Satan is very cunning and his schemes are many, please pray for discernment so you may uncover of his schemes.

7. Be ware of the advise of family and friends, as it will be biased.

8. The husband is most important in the life of his wife, he should be given a place above everyone else, family or friends.

9. You should be in agreement about your friend.

I listed the above points so the wives can learn how to avoid problems with their husbands, consequently avoid divorce which is considered a sin and the church does not prove of it for it is contrary to the Biblical teaching.

I pray to our good Lord to grant us the gift of obedience to his commandments, and the wisdom to avoid contention.

My dear sisters, pray to our Lord Jesus to grant you sufficient grace to submit to your husbands.