In this article we will talk about the
husband family and specially the
mother in-law. In the next article we
will talk about the husband. In the
following article we will talk about
the wife. As I always do in my
articles I will be very truthful in my
writing. I will mention few example so
the reader will not think I accuse the
mother in-law or both husband and wife
of any wrong doing.
Life
with in-laws
I will
start the first article with the
Arabic mother in-law. I want to say
first that I have seen good mothers
in-law but they are few. Those are the
ones who read the Bible. The purpose
of this article that the mother in-law
do not understand they harm their
daughter in-law, that is why I always
advice my readers to read the Bible
every day to understand what the Bible
say about Christian marriage. For I
think that the Arabic mother in-law
took a lot of behavior from Koran and
not the Bible. The time has come to
put the magnifying glass on what we
took from the Islamic teachings and
compare between the Christian
teachings and Islamic teachings. We
have now the Islamic teachings
infiltrating the Christian families
that it became now the grounds for the
Christian family. Even the pastors of
churches, their advice comes from
Koran and not from the Bible.
I want
to clear a point that when I say
pastors I mean pastors of all
denomination.
1- the
interference of the mother in-law in
the Arabic marriage
“Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh.
” {Ge 2:24}
the
first cause to destroy marriages is
the interference of father in-law or
the mother in-law in a very irritating
way to the daughter in-law, that is
why Christianity says that the man
shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and they shall
become one flesh. But Islam
says the mother takes the first,
second and third place but
Christianity says that the wife takes
the first, second and third place.
Please read my articles about marriage
on my web site and the address is at
the bottom of the article. I will list
the verses that speaks of the man
shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife and the two
shall become one flesh. “And He
answered and said to them, "Have you
not read that He who made them at the
beginning ‘made them male and female,’
"and said, ‘For this reason a man
shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh”{Mt19:4,5}
“But
from the beginning of the creation,
God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For
this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his
wife, ‘and the two shall become one
flesh’; so then they are no longer
two, but one flesh” {Mr10: 6-8}
“For
this reason a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his
wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.” {Eph5: 31}it is very clear
from these verses that the man should
leave his father and mother to be
joined to his wife. I want to say that
the Hebrew word that was used in the
verse in Genesis and the word that our
Lord Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul
used, they both mean total forsaken
and does not mean any thing else. Our
Lord know that unless the man leave
his father and mother the married life
will not be an easy one.
The
Arabic mother in-law interfere in
every thing and I will give examples.
The
interference of the mother in-law in
all life matters
This
happened in front of me many years
ago. If it happened before me now I
would of answered this mother harshly.
The story goes as this: the wife
bought few kilos of meat and she was
dividing them in plastic bags as much
as a meal for her husband and herself.
For her bad luck her mother in-law was
visiting her. Her mother in-law
commented that this amounts was too
small to cook and said what if someone
visited you have to be ready for
anyone to serve a meal. The wife
answered : I am a working woman and no
one will come without calling first a
day ahead. It is impossible that I
will cook everyday for just may be
someone may come. The mother in-law
cursed her daughter in-law and accused
her of being stingy. Of course the
wife did not answer back because she
was young.
If this
happened with you as the wife I
encourage you to answer as follow: I
am the house wife of this house and I
run this house as I see it right for
me and my husband. Do not allow at
all your mother in-law to interfere in
your life. You have to take a firm
stand if your mother in-law interferes
in your life. And go to your pastor
and tell him about your problem and if
his answer was, she is his mother and
your husbaand can not annoy her then
stand up and tell him when you answer
me from the Bible and not the Koran I
will take your advise. “But if you
bite and devour one another, beware
lest you be consumed by one another!”
{Ga5:15}
a cruel
woman
we were
attending a small party and I have
noticed an old lady and she looks she
is visiting Australia. A tried to
welcome her and start a conversation
with her and after ten minutes from
talking to her, she said to me: my
daughter in-law is a cruel woman, she
does not allow my son to send money to
his widow sister and his widow mother.
This is unfair, she is a cruel woman.
and I tried to talk to the daughter
in-law to see if she will make a
comment about her mother in-law or
not? She did not mention any thing
about her mother in-law. But I have
noticed something is bothering her so
I mentioned that I am Christian
counselor so she asked for my phone
number and I gave it to her. She
called me and I tried to know some
thing about her mother in-law. Her
answer was that she loves her mother
in-law. I asked her do you send money
to his family? . She said that her
mother in-law insist that we send some
money but they are far better off
financially than us. She explained
that she works a laborer and she is on
a low pay plus her husband works two
jobs to pay for the morgues and they
have two children. they are living on
the minimum. I knew that the mother
in-law that claims that her daughter
in-law is a cruel woman, she is the
cruel woman. After few months the
daughter in-law called me and said my
mother in-law is demanding that I get
pregnant and have a boy, what shall I
do? I said what if you have a girl?
And can you afford to stay at home and
take care of this baby? She answered I
will stay for two months only. I said
to her that will add a huge load on
you specially if the baby comes a
girl, wait until she will leave
Australia.
My dear
sister, mother in-law: do not
interfere in your son’s affair and his
wife for this is their lives and if
they made a mistake they will learn
from their mistakes. Once more do not
interfere in the affaire of your
children.
2-the
jealousy of the mother in-law from her
daughter in-law
the
Arabic mother consider the son as some
one who compensate her for the husband
who is present but at the same time is
absent with his emotions from the
married life. The Arabic husband took
a lot of teachings from Islam and one
of this teachings is the wife has no
place in his heart but the mother has
all the love and the appreciation. The
wife in Islam is a vessel for the
sexual enjoyment for the husband. But
Christianity says that man and woman
are one flesh. That is why
Christianity gives the wife far better
place than the mother, that is why the
mother in-law is jealous of the
daughter in-law and believe that the
daughter in-law robbed her from her
beloved, though if she considered the
daughter in-law as her daughter she
will benefit greatly.
Will the
love of a husband to his wife
contradict to the commandment, honor
your father and mother? The word honor
in Hebrew and Greek language means
respect and supply their needs. I want
to stop here and ask the parents, why
you insist that your children obey
this command, honor your father and
mother and you do no obey the
commandments that speak about the
husband and wife which say that they
are one flesh? Some of the mother
in-law are in a contentious battle
with daughter in-law. I will give some
examples:
The
mother faints
Is it
possible that every time her son
visits her she gets fainted so her son
spends big time with her away from his
wife. Is that logical?.
She
insist on removing her tooth
Her
daughter in-law had a clot in her leg
and she was taking anticoagulant. The
daughter in-law had to extract one of
her teeth, so she was going to bleed
badly because of the medication she
was taking. Her doctor was worried so
as her husband. The mother in-law said
to her other son take me to the
dentist to extract my tooth ( to make
her married son worried about her just
as he is worried about his sick wife)
so the other son took her to the
dentist. The dentist saw the tooth and
fond it perfectly normal and said no
need for extraction. After few days
she said to her second son I need to
go to the dentist to extract my tooth.
And the dentist said the same thing,
there is no need to extract the tooth.
Her son took her home. After three
days told her son take me to the
dentist I want to extract my tooth.
This time the son begged the dentist
to take her tooth out because he has
no time to come again and she did took
her tooth out to get her married son
sympathy.
What I said
about the mother in-law I say it to
rest of the husband family and that
include brothers and sisters. I know
many of the siblings considers the
sister in-law is outsiders ( this is
the Islamic teaching) and they forget
that she is one flesh with her husband
and Jesus Christ said that the man
should leave his father and mother and
be joined with his wife. This means
that the siblings has no place next to
the wife “Therefore,
from now on, we regard no one
according to the flesh.” {1Co 5:16}.
Prove that you are a man and beat your
wife
His
mother always tells her son prove you
are a man and beat your wife and
chastise her, so he used to beat her
up once a week. His wife has
outstanding job and at the end she was
tired from her husband beating and
from the interference of her mother
in-law and she left home and went to
live with her father, she and her
children. I was asked to intervene in
this problem. I always pray before I
talk to any one and I felt that the
mother in-law has a part in this
dilemma and I asked does the husband
beat his wife? And I knew the facts.
My opinion was let her live in peace
with her father and her children for
the Bible allows the woman to depart
from her husband “ Now to the married
I command, yet not I but the Lord: A
wife is not to depart from her
husband. But even if she does depart,
let her remain unmarried or be
reconciled to her husband. And a
husband is not to divorce his wife”
{1Co7: 10,11}
I will
not give up talking about the harm
mothers in-law causes to the Arabic
family. The interference of the
husband’s family will destroy the
marriage soon or later. The family has
to know that the husband and the wife
are one flesh.
My
sister; mother in-law; I hope that you
will consider your daughter in-law as
your daughter. Love her from all your
heart because this is the teaching of
the Bible that we should love everyone
from a pure heart and you will find
peace with your son and his wife.
Next time we will take about the role
of the husband in marriage and the
effect of his friends on his marriage.
The following article we will talk
about the wife, her family and her
friends. That we may learn from our
mistakes …….. to be continued.
