Divorce in Christianity ( part one) religious reason

Divorce now a days became the problem of the present times. We see divorce is discussed over all types of media such as : TV, internet, newspaper. We will discuss the causes of the problem over few articles. The major causes of the problems that lead to divorce are: 1- religious 2- social 3- emotional 4- sexual 5-financial and finally the effects of the Islamic culture on the divorce issue which will be discussed as we go. Religious causes Few weeks ago I watched a program for his holiness Pop Shenouda the third and some one asked him about divorce. His answer was very clear that there is no divorce except for the other partner committing adultery. He said that this is the commandment of our Lord Jesus Christ and he said that there are four verses that speak about the issue of divorce mentioned by our Lord Jesus Christ. I will mention them so we will learn how important they are. “"But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” {Mt5:32} which means that if the husband leaves his wife and if the wife married she will commits adultery. And if the husband that left his wife married another woman they will commit adultery. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” {Mt19:9} And also “So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."” {Mr10:11,12} and Jesus also said “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.” {Lu 16:18} It is very clear from the above verses that our Lord did not allow the divorce except for adultery. Some statistics says that divorce rate in the western culture are anything between 50%-60% and in the western church is about 50% and that because they do not adhere to the teaching of the bible that no divorce except for adultery. In my opinion; Pop Shenouda the third protected the Coptic church by sticking to the teaching of the bible by not allowing the divorce for any other reasons. Some may think that Pop Shenouda is very strict in his views, but he is applying the Bible. Sin is exceedingly sinful and the sin of adultery is one of the gruesome sins and has horrible consequence. I have heard of some one who calls himself minister (he is not an orthodox) he fell into adultery and he made the woman pregnant and she had to abort and that is killing. So he fell into adultery and the sin of killing. “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For "the two," He says, "shall become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.” {1Co 6:16-18} why Jesus said there is no divorce except for adultery? Because the person who committed adultery becomes one flesh with the person who had sex with and so the bond between him and his wife is no more a bond for he became one flesh with the person he had sex with. That is why Jesus said in the case of adultery they are no more one flesh but they two that is why divorced is allowed because the bond between the husband and wife is broken. Nothing break the bond between a husband and wife like adultery That is why the stand that Pop Shenouda is taking is according to the Bible, which in the opinion of some is unsympathetic, but the truth it is according to the Bible. There is no problem that can not be solve if you obey the Bible as we will explain later. The responsibility of the church in teaching the Bible I can say that all the problems we face will be resolved if we acknowledge, apply and respect what the Bible say about this. But sadly 90% of the people do not understand what the Bible say about life matters. And unfortunately this teaching is common among the church goers which says that the Bible does not have all the answers to all life matters. Of course this is totally wrong because the Bible answers all life matters. That is why any pastor, from any denomination who has problems concerning divorce in his congregation, that are not related to the sin of adultery, I say to this pastor you did not teach your congregation the importance of reading the Bible every day and apply and obey the word of God. I do not speak hypothetical but I speak out of my own experience in counseling. I will mention few example: The first example This happened while we were living in US, she was American lady. She came to me for counseling and I knew she is legally divorced. I will give this lady a name of Mary. Her ex husband is already engaged to another woman and Mary is committed to another man to get married. Mary became close to me and I started to teach her the Bible. And the time came to ask her if her husband has committed adultery? and she said no he did not. I said to her then you can not marry some one else. I said to her you either reconcile with your husband or you stay single. You can not marry again, because if you marry again it will be consider adultery. This is what Jesus Christ said. She decided to reconcile with her husband. I told her I will help you to get together with your ex and I invited him to dinner and I said to him what the Bible say about this issue. He was convinced with what the Bible says and they got together again as husband and wife. The problem was that they did not know what the Bible says. And of course every one had to let go of some issues. Married life will not go without problems unless everyone let go of some issues Second example This was an Egyptian family. I was invited to set with them as last solution before they go and see a lawyer to finish the divorce papers. I sat with them and the husband was trying to say: she did such and such…. And the wife was saying he did such and such… my question to them was ; what is your relationship with Jesus? I said to them it is clear that you do not have a strong relationship with our Lord. I suggested that they read the Bible and pray every day for a month. I visited them every week for Bible study. Of course after a month of reading the Bible their problems were solved and they have been married for the last 18 years and they are happy. If the person realized what the Bible says in all life matters and apply it in his life, he would live in peace. I do not deny the existence of problems between husband and wife, but every problem will be solved if the couple knew what the Bible says about this issue and both of them respected what the Bible says. Some may ask the following: what if one of the couple do not respect what the Bible says? All is required is one of the couple honor the Bible and you will find that God will deal with the other person. But if the other hardens his or her heart in harsh way I will give this example, and it is true story which happened with a woman that I met. Third example This woman loves reading the Bible but her husband hated the Bible so much. If he sees her reading the Bible, he take it and burn it. She will go and buy another one and read it while her husband at work but some times latter he comes home early and he will take the Bible and burn it again. He did that many times so the wife went on to pray sincerely to Jesus to spare her of this on going trauma. After few days the door bell rang , when she opened the door there were few men carrying her dead husband. This was an answer to her prayer for she prayed that God will solve this problem as He pleased. God knew there is no hope that her husband be changed although the will of God “who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” {1 Ti 2: 4} Does that mean that every person who hates God and His word will die young? Of course not. But when that person annoys badly one of God’s children like this husband did with Godly wife I can say that God will remove this person from the life of God’s children. The importance of reading the Bible The smart and wise person, is the one who read the Bible for there are many benefits in reading the Bible. You will know how to take care of your wife and also you will know that there no one equal to your wife. You will also know my dear sister that our Lord ordered you to submit to your husband. If you honored this command God will honor you and your husband will appreciate you. You will also, both of you, know how to raise your children on Biblical way. And most important you will know that divorce is not allowed in the Bible for any other reasons, for every problem has a solution in the Word of God. I have worked as a Christian counselor for many years and with every problem I have faced I managed to solved it with the Word of God. I explained what the Bible is saying about their problem and I can say that 95% of the problem were solved because they honored the Bible but the other 5% they did not want to honor the Bible and that is why I could not help them. When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. {Pr 16:7} This is very, very, very important spiritual law and that is if your ways are pleasing to the Lord you will not be faced with fear, snares of the devil or anything harmful (please read psalm 91 in the Bible or 90 in the Agbia) and you will know that what I say is true. Beloved ones I have mentioned how many times the Lord Jesus protected us from many troubles because we fear Him and honor His Word. And I encourage every one to read the Bible daily in the spirit of prayer and ask the help of the Holy Spirit to guide him to all the truth and teach him how to live in this life. A word to those who seek to get a divorce If anyone who seek to get a divorce for any other reason except for adultery, you are rejecting the words of Jesus Christ who is the ultimate head of the church. If you reject the words of Jesus, I want to ask you question, why do you want to get married in the church once more?. You have rejected the words of Jesus Christ. And if you marry in another church, you are still rejecting the words of Jesus Christ. And if you marry in another church your marriage is considered adultery as what Jesus said. The most important lesson a person can learn when a person faces a problem, any problem, I can say the main cause of this problem is that the person ignored the Lord’s ways and neglected reading the Bible. God allow these problems, and in this issue we are talking about divorce, to force people to pray and read the Bible so our Lord Jesus Christ can solve the problem in His own timing and ways. If any person start to pray and read the Bible his or her life will be changed for sure. And every person took a permission to marry again without the cause of adultery, because some people took permission to marry again without Biblical ground, I say to this person your marriage will not be blessed and in some cases it will not last. To be continued …..