Choosing  your partner (1)

The most important decisions in one’s life are two: the first is to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord with the full meanings of this statement, it means we do not take any decision without seeking God’s wisdom first. The second decision is choosing your husband or wife. Sadly we pursue Jesus Christ in family problems, sickness, financial needs, a problem at work, losing someone we love, problems with our children or in any other difficult times.

I want to stop here and mention a story happened two days ago. I had a friend visiting me and she needed to the supermarket to buy something. To told her 3years old that she is going to go for few minuets and he did not seem to mind. After she left for about three minuets he started to cry badly. I tried to calm him but it was in vain. So I called her on the mobile and asked her to come back quickly. Since I could not calm him by whatever it take, I started to pray to Lord Jesus to calm him and after a couples of minuets he was quite.

I started to think how this child was very disturb when his mother was away from his and how many of us our heavenly father is away from many and they do not feel disturbed at all. I pray that everyone of us feel disturbed when feel that our heavenly father is away from us.

The decision of choosing your partner  

 But in choosing a husband or a wife, many choose according to their personal likings and not according to the will of God. They do not seek the will of our good Lord Jesus Christ first. The deciding factor is any thing but calming ourselves before the throne of the heavenly father and seeking His wisdom.  And when the marriage fails, we blame our good God as if He chose the partner for us and say: why Lord? I do not deserve such trials; have mercy on me from this marriage and so on ….

I would like to state a fact; many think that every church marriage is according to God’s will. This thought is incorrect because some make the choice without seeking the guidance of God for they did not wait for His wisdom, some may seek but do not wait for God’s answer. The Lord’s Prayer teaches us “let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”.

“let our will be done in heaven as it is on earth”

But in our lives we apply another rule: Our lives are continuous chain of let our will be don in heaven as it is on earth. Please watch how you pray for you ask for requests according to your understanding and your personal likings and it is not according to the will of God and sometimes they are contrarily to the Bible.

My beloved, any person who makes a decision without seeking God’s will first is held responsible for its consequences, whether they are bad or good.

Do not expect God to submit to your will and forget about His justice, wisdom, and mercy if you are one of His children. Any wise father will not give his children everything they want, for some of these requests may harm them. That is why it is wise when you pray and submit your request to the Lord to finish your prayers with this “let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and pray: "Lord if my prayers are against your will, I do not want them."

"Lord have mercy …. Lord have mercy"

Many pray "Lord have mercy" in every prayer, but the first question is: did you have mercy upon yourself by submitting to the Bible and honoring his word? Or you are living according to your desires, and they are normally against the Bible, then when you reap the consequences of your own wrong decision you blame God as if He is responsible for your conduct, then you cry out “Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy …..”

These verses explain how Jesus Christ feel towards those who say have mercy on me “Now they came to Jericho… blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"  Then many warned him to be quiet; but he cried out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"  So Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. Then they called the blind man, saying to him, "Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you."  And throwing aside his garment, he rose and came to Jesus. So Jesus answered and said to him, "What do you want Me to do for you?" The blind man said to Him, "Rabboni, that I may receive my sight." Then Jesus said to him, "Go your way; your faith has made you well." And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road” {Mr 10: 46-52} when the blind man said to Jesus “have mercy on me” Jesus answered "What do you want Me to do for you?  Jesus directed the blind man on how to ask, instead of saying have mercy on me, he asked him by saying "What do you want Me to do for you?"  so the second question is; if you have a request like this blind man,  you have to be specific like this blind man and when you ask, have faith that your prayers will be answered in God’s timing “I, the LORD, will hasten it in its time.” {Is 60:22}

What if I made the wrong decision in marriage?

It is time to be honest with God and with ourselves. We can correct some wrong decisions by turning away from them, but we can't do this with unsuccessful marriages! We can't correct a marriage by turning away of it, for there is no divorce in Christianity except for the reason of adultery. The marriage may be annulled if there was proven deception. And in the case of adultery, the victim has the right to get married again, but the transgressor has no right to marry again. This is biblical, Jesus himself said this, and the bible tells us that sin is exceedingly sinful {Ro 7:12}. Therefore, it is essential to know if this was the will of God for you to marry this person before the marriage takes place. If it is God’s will for you, this marriage will be blessed and God will be with you everywhere and at all times. But if the marriage was according to the will of a person, no matter whom that person is, whether he is a spiritual or natural father and it was not according to the will of God, life in this marriage will not be peaceful, for it was not the will of our Lord Jesus Christ. Some may say if this is true, then there is no marriage according to the will of God because we see problems in almost all families. This is true we see problems in families; firstly, discussion between husband and wife is normal and if it is done in love then it will result in understanding (in future articles will discuss this topic). Secondly, because we do not honor what is written in the Bible for we see that husbands do not love their wives, and that wives do not submit to their husbands as the Bible says in Ephesians chapter five. Also some husbands don’t fulfill the command “the man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife”. Often we hear some husbands say, “Mom’s word must be obeyed because she is an old person and we should not upset her in her last days"!! I have heard of wives committing suicide because of their mothers' in-law, but I have never heard that a mother in-law committed suicide because of her daughter in-law. (We shall follow this subject in another article). Believe me if we follow the word of God as is, we will have a peaceful life. Some may ask: what do I need to do if I have chosen a partner according to my human desire and I did not seek the will of God earnestly? Can I still have the blessing of our Lord Jesus Christ? I say yes and no. Every person will reap what he has planted. Every wrong decision you have made, you will pay a price for, but our good God will have mercy on you when you offer a true repentance from your heart and follow the Bible faithfully and honestly, and your life will be changed completely.

Again, I speak from my experience with many whom I counseled over the last many years, hundreds and hundreds who suffered more serious problems than marriage problems yet now their lives turned around after honoring the Word of God.

Beloved, the person that honors the Bible and applies it faithfully will have complete change and his or her life will be filled with the joy and the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Indeed, marriage is a great source of blessing in the life of a person (let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband) {1Co 7:2}. In the next article we will discuss the importance of love in marriage and the importance for the couple to understand each other in all aspects of life.