The importance of harmony between the engaged couple (4)

 Lack of harmony is common in the migration countries such as Australia and America as the difference between families is not important any more, everyone can work and earn good money but the way the person was raised up no one knows it. May be  he or she migrated alone without his or her family and in this case we will not know spiritual, social and academic level of his family. You see before your eyes a successful person and you will not how he will behave in certain issues because you do not know anything about his upbringing. And at the same time there is an absence of the family’s advice, which has the experience of years, it is now often ignored.

 The opinion of the family

 I do not mean to give the family the right to make the decision, but I advise that we seek the opinions of people are known for their wisdom and guidance with the holy spirit, impartiality and not politically correct, which we see now it is evident in some servants. The opinion should be led by the Holy Spirit and not by human wisdom.

 How to choose your partner?

When I am asked how to choose a partner I say this: first you have to sit with yourself and ask this question; what characteristics must a partner have? Please be mature about it and do not make beauty and slenderness your first condition, these things disappear with time and can be lost due to many reasons. If beauty is the most important condition, I will tell you this: you are not mature enough to choose a partner. The conditions in choosing a partner should be the characters that are suitable with your personality. For example; if you are extravert you should not choose introvert person; if you are a generous person you should not choose a stingy person; it may be a good idea to choose one who is wise in his or her spending to balance you out. And if you are an educated intelligent person you should not accept a partner limited in his ways of thinking. If you are a person who would move for a job opportunity then you should not choose a person who would not move using stability as an excuse. In summary, there has to be harmony and compatibility in personalities and goals in life.

 The fundamental points

As for the fundamental points, which is a must in life and without them life will be hell, here are some examples:

If a person has a true relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ, the partner must have the same relation with Jesus. The level of commitment may vary but both must walk in the same direction. I have seen this problem through my counseling, a person who is very committed to our Lord chooses a person who is nominal Christian and hoping that the other person will become committed with time. To this I say that you will pay a dear price for the Bible tells us (Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temples of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore "Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.") {2Co 6:14-7-1}. From these verses we see that our Lord will receive and guide us when we are obedient to His commandments. The person that chooses a partner disregarding the commandment of the Bible, he or she will suffer greatly for the consequences of his or her disobedience. This problem is repeated amongst the children of God whom they pray daily our Father who art in heaven. When I am asked what is the answer to the problems they face, again I say the Bible tells us “do not be yoked with unbelievers”, so why did you ignore the commandments? and if they say I don’t know the commandments I tell them (My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge) {Ho 4:6}. If you were careless about the commandments of God, I urge you to repent from all your heart. Beloved, the most important thing in life is our relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ, therefore, when you choose a partner it must not be on the account of this relationship with Jesus Christ.

 The tolerable faults

You also must examine yourself first to know your personality, what you like and dislike. Ask your self; what are the important characteristics I want in a partner?. Also what are the faults that I can put up with? for there is no person without a fault. And what are the faults that I cannot accept under any circumstances. For instance, a man may not mind if the wife is not a great cook, but it is important that she is organized; A wife may bear the lack of ambition of her husband but she can not bear her husband to be his mummy or daddy’s little boy, meaning their feelings and decisions come first on the account of his wife. This is a major mistake many Egyptian husbands fall into it. This mistake comes from the eastern (Islamic) culture and not from the Christian teaching. The Bible is clear on this issue (A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife).

Next article we will discuss the importance of the harmony between the families.

I pray to our Lord Jesus to give you wisdom and discernment to make the right decision in choosing a partner.