choosing your partner (3)

The importance of Communication and harmony between the partners

 We continue our articles about choosing your partner. In this article we will talk about the communication and harmony between the husband and wife, and in general between any two persons.

communication

Lack of communication is a prominent problem among the Egyptians and it is time to give this subject some attention. There are courses in the western societies that teach communication and the skills required to deal with others in order to resolve differences in life matters. Lack of communication between couples is the most important warning that demands attention in the engagement period. Parents must recognize the symptoms of this devastating problem, which is characterized as follow:

Lack of communication

Lack of communication causes lack of visibility for future affairs such as the wedding arrangement, furnishing the house, establishing the relationship between the patents (we will talk about this subject in depth in the next article). An example to that is the couples must take the sole responsibility to build their future together, the wedding arrangements, and furnishing the house without the interference of the parents. But if the parents assist financially, in this case they may have some rights to give an opinion in some of the matters.

In marriage, the couple must work at improving their communication to resolve their differences based on God’s words so life can go on peacefully. Storing the hurts in the conscious and sub-conscious will result in undesirable consequences spiritually, emotionally and physically.  There are some principles for good communication that must be observed so life can be peaceful, and relationship can be source of blessing rather than be a cause of misery in our lives.

We must observe the following points when we deal with others:

Timing your words: one should not talk when he feels angry for any reason. Give yourself a chance to cool down so you can think clearly in what to say. You may change some of your thinking and your words in the following day.

2-Type of your words: avoid the abrasive talk such as; it was a mistake to marry you; I deserve better partner; this home is hell (A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.){proverb 15:1} Harsh words will create non-ending problems; let your word be according to the bible. (Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.) {prov 17:1}. A home full of strife turns to a hell, I pray to our good Lord that our words would be healing to the soul and thus to the body.

3.The tone of your words: we may say the right words but your attitude makes the difference. You may say I love you with a loud voice or even in anger but I can assure you this behavior will create problems.

The above points were on the negative side of communication and we must avoid them. We also must work at achieving the positive points of communication:

The Lord has created every one with good characters, one must pray to Jesus to see the good character of his or her partner so one can give thanks to our Lord for such character to appreciate the other partner.

When there is contention, work at changing the direction the discussion is talking by giving a smile, or by making a funny comment, this will lessen the contention. Believe me this method works and it is very beneficial, you will see good results if you apply it.

I highly recommend to you a spiritual guide, someone who has good Christian knowledge based on the word of God. Unfortunately, in Australia spiritual guide is rare commodity, the pastors of the church do not have enough time to meet the needs of their congregation. Here I raise this question: is the Bible the source of the advice we receive? Or the advice is just a wisdom we inherited from others which is far from the teaching of the Bible, even worst it is against the teaching of the Bible and it is common amongst the servants. My recommendation to everyone who seeks a spiritual guidance from a servant is to ask for a reference in the Bible for the advice. I suggest you ignore the advice if he fails to give you a reference from the Bible.